I Will Lift Up My Eyes

“I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; from whence shall my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:1-2

Sometimes I don’t understand the ways of the Lord. In fact, most times I don’t. I just keep having faith and trusting that He knows what’s best for me. He can help me through anything that happens in my life. That includes my eyesight. As a photographer, I rely quite heavily on my eyesight. The thought of going blind is indeed daunting. Let me explain…

I have a degenerative corneal disease called Fuchs’ (pronounced like fukes) Corneal Dystrophy. (Go to http://www.fuchsdystrophy.org/ for more info.) My eyesight will slowly (in most cases, but sometimes not so slowly) deteriorate until I go blind. The only cure is to wait until I can have a corneal transplant. I can’t help but wonder in what ways and how much that will affect my taking and processing of images, in the meantime, and how soon it’ll be until I can no longer effectively capture or see the art of God in His creation.

In the past several weeks I have noticed that my symptoms seem to be getting worse and that is quite scary. Things appear hazy in the morning, like smoke has begun to fill the house. I am extremely sensitive to light. In the sun, my eyes hurt and water quite a bit…making it hard to do my landscape and outdoor photography. I have trouble with night driving due to problems with glare. Sometimes I have trouble seeing people and things that are backlit.

In the time since I was diagnosed, I’ve felt an urgency to take all the photos I can before I can’t do it anymore. (At least for a while, I can have the transplant and recover from it:6 mos-1 1/2 yrs.) So, I have been doing that. The problem is that my symptoms keep me from doing the processing part of it to the degree that I need to. My eyesight is worse in the morning, so I know that I need to wait until it clears up a bit to do certain things. I have recently joined a support group for Fuchs’. Although I have a loving and supportive family and circle of friends, no one can really understand what I’m seeing and feeling like those who have or have had Fuchs’.

Although this is life altering, I will praise the Lord that Fuchs’ is not life threatening as are so many diseases. I don’t know what my future holds or how fast my Fuchs’ will progress, but I do know who holds my future and although I cannot ignore my symptoms or deny the diagnosis, I will leave my eyes and my future in the hands of the one who created them…

“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

I thought this picture I took last night would be appropriate to post with this blog entry. I hope you enjoy it. I know I enjoyed taking it, even though it was quite windy and cold up on the plateau of the Snake River Canyon. I will treasure every day that my eyes are good enough to capture and process such an image.